Do you agree with this? Have there been times when a place has disappointed you because it wasn’t what you had imagined?

For the most part, I am not disappointed when I visit a new place. But there are often challenges that threaten to affect my enjoyment, such as:

• The place I was looking forward to visiting is packed with tourists.
• The place I was looking forward to visiting is packed with tourist stalls which spoil the ambiance.
• The place I was looking forward to visiting no longer exists.
• The weather is crap the entire time.
• I feel ill, or tired, or stressed.
• An event occurs (a robbery, a terrible storm) that clouds my memory of the visit.

So what can be done?

As with everything in life, it is mostly us who control how we feel or react. We can resolve to have a bad time, or we can pull our socks up and make the most of things.

• When it rains: play games, visit museums and galleries, take an umbrella and go out anyway
• When the tourists are swarming: get out earlier, laugh it off, make friends, or get off the beaten track
• When the hawkers are in your face selling t-shirts: politely but firmly decline (unless you want one) and move on
• When the coveted cafe or nook has clearly been bulldozed for a shopping complex: shrug and seek out some other local haunts
• When the place just doesn’t look like the postcards/guidebook promised: lighten up. Try and ‘discover’ things rather than visiting all the usual suspects
• When you get sick: hrm, it’s hard to make the most of this one. Don’t push through it; give in, look after yourself and cross your fingers it’s a 24-hour thing.
• You get robbed: it is stressful and horrible. Report it to the police, keep safe, try and keep going. Don’t let it be your only holiday memory.

Do you find the anticipation of a trip beats the reality? Have you ever overcome a seemingly bad situation and still had a great holiday?

That isn’t to say you’re not glad to be home again. But if you’ve been away for years, it’s not necessarily easy to settle back in as though nothing’s happened. Why?

You’ve changed.

You’ve had experiences that perhaps your old friends and family can’t understand or relate to. Perhaps they consider your travel tales big-headed or redundant. But your perspective has changed, so you may well see old things differently.

Symptoms of reverse culture shock include:

• Frustration. Perhaps things seem too slow, or too fast, or you just don’t like the way something is managed, or how people behave.
• Disappointment. Perhaps you expected nothing to have changed, but it has. Settling back in, reconnecting and finding a new job can be hard.
• Depression, or feelings of isolation, that no one understands what you’ve been doing.
• Homesickness. This one may surprise you, because you are “home”. But if you’ve been living in another country, then you made that country your home. You are bound to miss it.

Ways to cope

• Get support. Many countries have organizations to help ‘repats’ readjust to living back home again. Try a web search in your area.
• Accept your feelings. Don’t fight them. Everyone returning after a period away will experience them while readjusting. Be patient with yourself and others.
• Create a routine. Part of the alienation phase is the lack of having a regular daily pattern. Even if you don’t have a job yet, make some daily plans and stick to them. Make social plans and create goals.
• Make a list of the most positive aspects of your time overseas. Keep them in mind as you readjust and seek work. You might feel your OE has alienated you, but many employers will be impressed, and people will come to appreciate how it has shaped the new you.

What’s just as interesting is the article has elicited many replies from people with their own ‘don’t go’ tips. The commenters suggest we avoid:

• Heathrow and Gatwick Airports
• Renting a buggy in Brazil
• Visiting Africa
• Wearing bling in Saigon
• Flying in the US unless you have to
• Cardiff
• Bucharest
• Dodgy public toilets
• Food poisoning in awkward places
• Vienna
• Pisa
• Athens
• Dunedin, New Zealand
• ..and many more. Read the whole article.

The question is, how much do you take other people’s tips into account? I’ve visited places based on recommendations and been disappointed (eg. I was a little underwhelmed by Montreal, which is pretty, but so are other places).

The fact is, such advice can be a godsend or it could prevent you from having an amazing experience because you didn’t find out for yourself. If I really wanted to see a place, my excitement may be curbed a little by a bad review but I wouldn’t let it stop me.

What about you?

As a language learner and (former) English teacher, I’m going to pass on my tips for learning a language.

How to learn a language (tips range from beginner to advanced)

1. Balance your learning. Some people learn best from books, others by interacting. Both are valid, but not exclusive. Make sure you talk, read, write and listen. Each one helps the others.

2. Don’t be shy. As a beginner, speaking up can be excruciating. Most people are understanding of this and will be supportive. Don’t be silent, and be flexible. You always know more than you think and your confidence will grow.

3. Live in the country. Ideally you will be living in or visiting the country where the language is spoken in order to accelerate your learning. If so, definitely take a course (which are usual plentiful and come in a range of prices) and chat to locals.

4. Find native speakers. Even if you can’t be in the country, you can still learn by chatting to native speakers. Pay them, or do a language exchange. Practicing with fellow foreigners is good too but remember you are likely to be sharing mistakes as well, and not picking up the natural flow of a native-level conversation.

5. Set short-term goals. It may sound obvious, but try setting goals for each week and keeping to them (eg. one language meetup, one audio book chapter etc). Learning a language is much like exercise – you need a routine.

6. Set long-term goals. There is likely to be some sort of language exam you can take. Signing up for it well in advance will give you something to work towards. Warning: don’t set your goals too high or you will become frustrated.

7. Take breaks. Language learning can be exhausting. Your brain is working very hard. Allow yourself breaks to think and chat in your native language. It will relieve and revive you.

8. Put the dictionary down. The dictionary is the beginner’s lifeline, but opening it every few seconds will stilt conversations and you are unlikely to remember the word for the future. Try and talk ‘around’ the word by describing it , or ‘miming’ it. And when you are ready, buy a basic monolingual dictionary with simple descriptions instead of the New Language – English version.

9. Experiment with ‘thinking’ in the language. Most of us chatter away to ourselves (internally) all day. Try swapping languages and you’ll probably be surprised at how much you know.

10 Don’t lose the basics. As your skills improve and your vocabulary widens you will start overlooking the basic grammar rules you first learned, because you’re concentrating on the more advanced aspects. Go back to your beginner books and skim the rules again.

Being female should not be an excuse for staying home, but the sad reality is that often women travelers do need to be more cautious than men, especially if traveling solo.

Still, many women travel alone and have a blast. How? By being sensible and following the tips below.

Ways to stay safe:

• Leave the diamonds at home. Flashing bling will not help you stay unnoticed.
• Don’t swing a handbag. Either put your bag right over your shoulder, so thieves can’t grab and run, or wear a money belt with a minimal amount of cash.
• Be aware of local standards of dress. Don’t bounce around the beach in a bikini if locals cover up. In more conservative countries, keep shoulders and legs covered and wear loose-fitting clothing.
• Look confident. Walk with a purposeful stride and keep to public streets.
• In some countries, solo women travelers are highly unusual. Either find a travel companion or avoid empty places and don’t wander round after sundown.
• Don’t respond to stares and catcalls. If a man is trying to get your attention, ignore him. Responding may be seen as sassy and egg him on. Look away and move on.
• Consider wearing a ring and calling yourself ‘Mrs.’. It says you’re taken and may deter unwanted attention.
• Take a self-defense course. This can come in handy anytime and may make you feel more confident. But use only if being attacked – don’t start the fight!
• If attacked, make a lot of noise and fight back if you can. Afterwards, seek help immediately.

Doubtless this advice will make things sound much worse than they’re likely to be. The trick is to be alert and careful. Don’t let the fear of the unlikely stop you from going, just be prepared.

If they’re in Vegas, feeling giddy from the flashing lights and abundance of wedding chapels, they might get married, forgetting momentarily the wrath that will greet them from parents once back home.

So, can you just walk into a chapel and marry? Not quite. But it is remarkably easy. As someone who has walked down a Vegas aisle, I’m going to reveal all.

How do you get a wedding permit?

First you pay a quick visit to Clark County License Bureau, a 15-minute cab ride from The Strip. You wait in a short queue for a license which costs around $50. If you’re a US resident you need your Social Security Number and photo ID. If you’re from outside the US you’ll need your passport. You fill in a form each, pay your bill and head to a chapel.

Which chapel to choose?

If you’re staying in a hotel it most likely has a chapel. However, they can be fully booked due to the popularity of Vegas weddings (over 120,000 a year). Don’t worry – there will be plenty of hawkers outside the License Bureau trying to cajole you into going to their chosen chapel, with limo additional.

There are budget chapels, there are drive-thru chapels, there are chapels with Elvis. How did we choose our chapel? Via the Yellow Pages. How romantic.

What happens at the chapel?

You enter (either having booked, or for some you can just walk in like we did), present your new license, choose how many frills you want with your wedding (flowers, photos, etc) and pay first and sign the marriage certificate.

Then it gets kind of surreal if it’s just the two of you, the minister and the witness (who’s usually the receptionist). They play the wedding march, you walk up the aisle – I was in jeans – and then you hold hands and repeat those classic vows. Next, you’re married! There’s cake and champagne, but you have to hurry it up before the next couple arrives.

Why marry in Vegas?

Well, it’s kind of wacky and fun. It’s cheap, if you’re already in Vegas. It’s certainly a relaxed affair. If you’re an introvert, it means you escape the crowds. But of course many people have a planned Vegas wedding with friends and family.

What are the cons?

If your parents have been dreaming of your special day for years… well, you’re letting them down. But you can always have another ceremony later.

It’s also not particularly romantic. It’s a bit cheesy. You might be cheating yourself of a wonderful day where you dress up and be the center of attention at home. But it’s personal choice.

And if you’ve just met the person that night… you’ll be waking up with more than a hangover. You’ll have a new spouse!

The recent release of the fifth Harry Potter film, The Order of the Phoenix, and the upcoming seventh and final book The Deathly Hallows is a reminder of how many people adore the Harry Potter series. But why? What makes it so special to people?

1. It vividly creates a magical world.
It’s not just a story about a wizard. There’s magic in the detail: revolving staircases, pumpkin juice, talking portraits, every-flavored beans, wizard sports and Nimbus 2000 broomsticks.

Reading the books is a completely escapist experience, where you’re absorbed quickly and easily into a new world which is just a train ride from the Muggle world, via platform 9 and 3/4.

2. It’s a place many of us yearn to be.
You may not want to be permanently absorbed into the magical world, but who has not wished for similarly exciting schooldays? Murderous dark lords aside, I sure could’ve done with more magic classes and fewer tedious hours of copying from the blackboard.

3. It’s a classic narrative that we recognize.
Joseph Campbell’s book The Hero With The Thousand Faces outlines the classic myth structure and stock characters. There is also a Cinderella element: Harry is rescued from nasty, caricature relatives and whisked away to a wonderful school with friends, mentors and exhilarating challenges to overcome.

He is the sometimes-reluctant Jedi hero, Dumbledore is his wise Obi Wan Kenobi mentor, his lightsaber is his wand, Voldermort is Darth Vader, the Death Eaters are his Storm Troopers… it’s familiar enough that we are not too challenged, with enough plot twists and color added into the brew to keep us entertained.

I am not normally an avid reader of fantasy, but I can’t get enough of Harry Potter. Each book gets deeper and darker. It takes me into a world that I could not reach by plane or even spaceship. It’s not expensive ($15 or so for a book), I don’t need vaccinations, there is no paperwork, no jetlag and not even any culture shock, because I can relate to the characters.

Do you enjoy fantasy travel? How do you get there?

You’re less enthusiastic, of course. You’re already full. Well, the same can happen with travel. If you’re rushing around from place to place, seeing the 20th castle that week or experiencing your fifth flight in as many days, it’s going to become wearying. You’ll experience travel fatigue.

It may be a physical thing, since too much travel, skipping time zones, long flights, rushing around with luggage, can all leave you feeling exhausted.

Or perhaps your mind has been overstimulated by seeing the Taj Mahal, Eiffel Tower, Great Wall and Colosseum all within a week, and the wonder and excitement of seeing new things has dulled. It isn’t that traveling has become less amazing, it’s that you’ve moved around too much in a short time.

Travel fatigue also hits people who have to travel a lot for their jobs. Picture Edward Norton’s ‘Jack’, at the beginning of Fight Club, who spent his insomniac life on planes and faceless hotels fingering single cotton buds wrapped in plastic and meeting ‘ single serve friends‘ on the plane.

So how to prevent travel overdose?

1. Sit Still.
Visiting one place and simply hanging out for a while can be a much better experience than one of those 12-countries-in-3-days packages.

2. Cut back or pad out.
In your company are you needlessly shouldering all the business trips? Is there someone you can delegate to? Tried webcams? If you must go, try padding out the visit with a few extra days for R&R.

3. Check your itinerary
Does just reading it make you exhausted? Not a good sign.

Related Reading:

Signs You Travel Too Much

While he was talking, I felt myself swaying. His voice sounded far away. Spots appeared in my vision. My ears rang. I looked around for a seat, but there was none. The next thing I knew, I was lying face-down on the ground. People were gasping, and hands hauled me up. Water was thrown on my face as I came to.

I’m not usually a fainter; it must have been the combination of intense heat, humidity, jetlag, dehydration and probably a dose of anguish as I listened to the sad tales of land mine victims.

It is not uncommon to travel to a country with a climate very different to the one you are used to. It might be searingly hot. It might be suffocatingly humid. If you are small, or old, or heavy, or with low or high blood pressure, it can be hard to cope.

So what to do? You don’t want to miss out on an adventure because it’s a little warm outside, and you probably want to avoid embracing the ground like I did. The trick, as always, is to be prepared.

• Avoid the hottest part of the day (10am-2pm) if possible.
• Give yourself time to acclimatize to a new environment. If it’s boiling hot, don’t run around. Take it slow.
• Look around: what are locals doing? Are they back home at certain times? Napping under a tree at midday? Follow their lead.
• Stay hydrated. Avoid caffeine and alcohol. Carry water with you so you don’t run out.
• Carry food. Salty snacks are best if you have low blood pressure.
• Check the seasonal temperatures when planning your trip. Do you need to travel at the hottest time of the year? Monsoon weather can be refreshingly cool, with rains falling mostly at night time.
• If you are feeling faint, put your head between your knees to return some blood to your head.
• Consider carrying a fan, water spray, and a hat. Wear loose clothing. No jeans!
• Opt to hang out in the shade if you can. Standing in the sun too long can result in heat stroke.

Related Reading:

• Hot Weather Health Threats from HealthAtoZ.com

I try and limit myself to collecting postcards. I have quite a large collection now. It may add up, but they generally cost 50c-$1 each, and they don’t take up much room. I used to buy it all: the clothes, the toys, the wooden figures and keyrings. I’ve learned not to.

But the souvenir industry is huge, a billion dollar monster with tempting shops everywhere you turn. For example, I had an encounter with yet another one today when I took a ferry over to Alcatraz Island, here in San Francisco.

Alcatraz was a prison for many decades, housing hardcore prisoners such as Al Capone. It was a windy, bleak, stony place, with narrow cells and little hope (nice views, though). After completing the audio tour, I coincidentally found myself in the souvenir shop. So, what was the building which formerly housed some of the country’s worst criminals selling?

DVDs. Posters of inmates and grim slogans. Alcatraz salt & pepper shakers. Magnets, playing cards, toys, t-shirts, badges, handcuffs, toy knives… and so on. Really. Salt & pepper shakers? Classy. A compulsory photo of me standing in front of an Alcatraz background was on offer for $22.

So when did this madness start? Check out An Ode To Souvenirs, a great piece about the history of souvenirs dating back to Homer’s Odyssey. It reminds us that we buy souvenirs to remember our trips (”we’re trying to buy back our memories”), but also as status symbols to show where we’ve been, and because human beings simply like collecting things. That’s how I feel about my pile of postcards, although I have no idea what to do with them all.

To be honest, my most sought-after souvenir would have to be a snowglobe (I’m a fan of Citizen Kane). They’re on sale everywhere, but I have yet to find a nice one. So I keep looking.

What do you buy when you travel, and what do you have on display at home?

Related Reading:

• Buying Tasteful Souvenirs
• Trash and Trinkets – souvenir buying guide from Australia’s The Age newspaper